Just a Fan

Note: This seems to be a day for anonymous fanfics. Hooray. Here’s another story from a fellow #Hyena fan. Thank you!  😆

——

I decided not to set anyone as the female lead. Feel free to set your own female lead in this story :)

Christimas 2019.

The company that I am working for the last 5 years is doing a year end party and everyone was so excited to meet the “special guest” for this evening. I’m not even excited about it. These kind of events really bore me but I have to be here as part of the operations team.

I was walking towards the hall where the party is happening when I heard a familiar song.

“See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side

I wait for you”

~

I just heard a few lines and I already knew that it was you. I didn’t want to believe it at first. How can they even get you to perform for us? You’re a big star now. You’re expensive, of course. And you don’t have time. You don’t even have time to get a proper sleep or meal. How could you be here?

These thoughts are running through my head while walking. As I come closer to the hall, the music gets louder. The crowd is so loud too but I can clearly hear you sing. Because you sing from the heart. Then I entered the concert hall and there was you.

You look exactly the same. Except you gained some weight. But it suited you. Really. You are still handsome, as ever. Your smile still looks the same. Everything about you still looks the same.

Am I dreaming? I said to myself. After 7 long years. You’re finally here again. In front of me. In a big crowd. And just like how we are from before, I can’t even tell the world that I am here. I guess it will always be like this. I will always be just a fan.  

As I get to immersed with your song, memories came back flashing to my head. Then I came to a thought. What if we never broke up? What if we are still together? What if we never gave up?

Just a fan (Part2)

( As I get to immersed with your song, memories came back flashing to my head. Then I came to a thought. What if we never broke up? What if we are still together? What if we never gave up?)

7 years ago

It was one of the darkest moments of my life. My grandmother who raised me died from cancer and then months after, my father died due to heart attack. I was so down and I felt like no one could ever understand the pain that I was going through. I started pushing people away and I would normally go on traveling alone. Traveling gives me peace of mind. Especially if I am in a place where no one knows me. A place where I don’t have to pretend and just be myself.

Summer of 2012, I went to Thailand. I thought it was just another normal vacation for me. Little did I know that I was about to meet the person who would change my life completely.

I was enjoying the sunset by the beach when I saw a familiar face. I know that I have seen him somewhere but I really couldn’t remember where I’ve seen him.

I kept staring at him while trying so hard to remember where I saw him. The next thing I know, he’s already sitting next to me.

“Do you have anything to say to me?”

I was out of words. I just stared at him and he probably thought that I was just some weird random girl so he left. Thank God. That was so embarrassing. I have never been so embarrassed like this before.

Next day

I went out to buy look for some ref magnets. I love ref magnets. Aside from photos, it gives me a recollection of the places that I’ve been too.

While searching some ref magnets, I came across the same man from yesterday. People are lining up to take a picture  with him. Who is he seriously and where did I see him?

Gosh this man is handsome. I muttered.

I found myself staring at him again. It was such a delight watching him. The crinkles in his eyes when he smiled. The way he fixed his hair. His nose. His height. Then I remembered something.

“Princess Hours. I saw him in Princess Hours! He is that actor!” Fuck I think I shouted too loud because he tilted his gaze at me.

As soon as our eyes met, I quickly turned around and walked away as fast as I could. Why do we always have these awkward encounters?

Later that evening, I saw him drinking alone at the bar by the beach. He looked so sad and I was really not planning to disturb him or anything so sat a few seats away from him. He looked so sad. I wonder why. And yes, I am staring at him again. He probably noticed that someone is looking at him so he lifted his head and looked around until he saw me.

“You again.”

He smiled at me. I couldn’t help but smile too.

Few hours later, I found myself sitting next to him. We talked about random stuff. We laughed so hard with his funny stories while filming. I shared my story to him which I never did before. He told me about how acting has been his dream since he was a kind. He told me what his dream role was and even demonstrated how he would do it.

The he told me about how much depressed he is because he is not getting any offers and he is starting to believe that he is not cut for this industry. To be honest, I am not really a fan of his until today. I have never seen someone so passionate about something. The world needs to see how great he is.

He is so fun to be with. I felt so comfortable talking to him that I wish this night would never end.

“Gosh, it’s already 4 am. I didn’t even noticed the time” I said. He looked at his watch and he seemed surprised too. He walked me back to the hotel where I was staying.

“I had fun. I hope you did too” He said while smiling.

“I did, yes. So much”

“Ahm, a-are you leaving tomorrow?” He seemed shy while asking because he was touching his hair and I almost didn’t hear what he was saying.

“Yes. I’m coming home tomorrow. Why?”

“Ahmm, nothing. I just wanted to ask. I gotta go. Safe flight!” He turned around and started walking. When I was about to go inside the hotel, he turned back to me and said, “Hey, if I ever go to your country, can we meet?”

“Of course!”

He smiled so bright and I swear that was the brightest smile I have ever seen in my entire life.

Just a fan (Part 3)

Back to reality.

What happened in Thailand was a memory that I will forever cherish and I never hoped that he would actually remember me if we ever bumped into each other in the future.

But he did.

He went here for a fan meeting a few months later. I didn’t watch it because I was so busy at work and I didn’t even know that he was coming so I never got a chance to buy tickets. I only knew about it 2 days before the actual fan meet event.

“Hello, who is this?”

“It’s me” A familiar voice answered the phone.

I paused for a moment and pinched myself. No i’m not dreaming. He actually is calling me. He asked for my number before he left the hotel that night. I gave it to him but I did not take it seriously when he said that he’s gonna call me.

He asked for my address and next thing I know, he was at my doorstep.

We stayed up all night. We ate so much food. Movie marathon. Midnight drunk stories. I was happy. I was so happy.

Coming to my house has become a constant habit for him. He would fly back and forth just to be with me. Just so that we can hang out and watch movies together.

He would cook for me when I feel like I had enough junk food and fast food.

For those days when he can’t come, he would call me and send me random selfies.

He was the perfect boyfriend-if only he was my boyfriend. But he’s not. We are not together.

Even though I slept with him already. Many times.

I was too scared to ask him about his feelings for me. I’m scared that I will not hear the words that I want to hear if I ask him. I was just contented of what we have right now.

Just a fan (Part 4)

( I was too scared to ask him about his feelings for me. I’m scared that I will not hear the words that I want to hear if I ask him. I was just contented of what we have right now.)

I woke up with with his right hand over me and left hand holding mine. Before I could even turn around to face him, he leaned towards my ear and whispered, “I love you”

Tears are falling down from my eyes as I turn to his side. I held his face and he is crying too.

“I thought I’d never hear you say that” I said while wiping my tears. He brushed my hair off my face.

“Sorry for being late.”

~

I was the happiest girl in the world. Now I can finally say that he is the perfect boyfriend. He rarely gets mad. He is my sanity. He encourages me to be a better person every day. I have been living all alone for quite a while now and I already forgot what “home” felt like but being with him is “home”. He is my home.

I was happy and contented with our relationship. No pressures. We support each other’s careers. I was satisfied being in a 4 sided room with him all day. I had nothing more to ask.

Until…

Rumors started to spread that he is dating someone. It was okay for me at the beginning since I know that it was not true. I have my full trust on him and I believe him. I know that he would never do that to me.

That’s what I kept telling myself.

We endured this kind of set up for almost 2 years and I would have to admit that it is tiring.

Really tiring.

When I wanted to tell the world about us. I can’t.

My phone is full of our photos and I really wanted to share it with everyone but I can’t.

I wanted to go out on normal dates whenever we want to but we can’t.

Whenever we are not in good terms, I wanted to tell my friends about so that I can feel better but I can’t.

It was too tiring that I started to nag him so much and we would fight every day. He used to visit me every day but every day becomes every other day, then once a week, then once every two weeks, then once a month until he never comes at all. He probably got tired too.

Letting him go was the biggest mistake of my life. I should have known what I was getting myself into long before it even started. I knew that it was not gonna be easy but I never expected that it would be this hard. I had no choice but to continue with my life–alone.

Again.

FIN

—-

Thanks for stopping by! 

And thank you again, anonymous writer, for this reader insert fanfic. I enjoyed the story very much. The aptly chosen visuals–(that photo image, Ji Hoon’s pictures, and THAT TWEET) work so well to bring this narrative to life. 

And the ending. How the writer talks about the relationship–the photos she can’t share or the dates they can’t do. I love the hurt that resides in these details. 

Thank you for sharing your #Hyena fanfic with us. Yay. 😊

p.s. As a die-hard #KimHyeSoo fan, though, I got pulled out of the story when I saw that Tweet and I just about expired from squeals and happiness–before my brain caught up with me reminded me it was’t true. Hahaha. 

As for the rest, if you’d like to catch other fanfics on this site, they’re HERE.

COMMENTS off Tumblr

nothingremainsunsaid posted this b-is-for Awww! I really feel for this female lead. It can't be easy being JJH's girlfriend in secret. And thank you for that tweet from Soompi! That gave me life! Haha! 💖 nothingremainsunsaid HAHAHA me too. I was actually enjoying the sense that I was the secret GF but then that tweet comes along and I'm LIKE DUH, if anyone can have him, it's KHS. Haha. I mean i wish for nothing but their happiness, whether they're together or not. I just like seeing them together. Haha 😆

b-is-for I was wondering if I was alone in my sentiment of not minding that I (as the secret girlfriend) would lose JJH to KHS. 😂 Glad to know I wasn't alone. 😂😂😂 nothingremainsunsaid Hahaha *high-fives you* you are def not alone 😆😆😆

happym8 We were really gifted with fanfic today 🤩

nothingremainsunsaid @b-is-for: haha sorry forgot to tag you on that reply. haha.

nothingremainsunsaid @happym8: yep we were! so lucky. will try to update soon as well because all this content got me excited. hahaha. 😆

b-is-for High-five back at you @nothingremainsunsaid! 😂 Also, yes yes yes to you updating soon! 💖💖💖

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