Because You're Still You

NOTE: Anonymous Writer has sent a sequel for All of Me. Yay! Thank you! Here’s the story. Enjoy, fellow #Hyena babies. 

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Summary: Geum Ja contemplates Hee Jae’s feelings for her.

Sequel to All of Me. 

Geum Ja stretched back in her chair, drained after a few hours of working on a fraud case. It was the weekend, and both she and Hee Jae were home, working on their argument after Ju Ho had sent them new evidence.

She glanced over at the lawyer beside her, who was still going over details of the case, mumbling to himself every now and then. She was amazed at his ability to concentrate for hours on end, with the same focus and sharpness throughout. It’s no wonder he rose so quickly through the ranks of Song & Kim, to become the firm’s youngest partner and ace.

She never imagined their relationship would come to this when she went out on a limb to date him months ago. It wasn’t a surprise that he fell for Hee Sun, she was after all an image of who he was. And if she read him correctly, which she did, Hee Jae had a streak of narcissism in him which they played off.

What surprised her was how he still had feelings for her after the truth was out, and how utterly honest he was about them.

She initially wrote them off as leftover feelings, since he never had real closure. To that extent, she could understand if that compelled him to seek her out just to show her up after their break-up. It seemed to be his way of dealing with the fallout, and she could at least give him that after what she did to him.

She’d expected him to leave her alone, and whatever it was between them to fade, with time. But ever since they were forced to work together, and amidst their petty bickering, she started to suspect he picked fights with her because a part of him enjoyed it.

It wasn’t like she didn’t notice the subtle changes in his demeanour, and the loaded glances he threw her way, she just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Because what would be the point? He was eventually going to move on from her.

Only he never did. It didn’t take him long to figure out how he felt about her, and once he did, she could see his jealousy, his hurt, his worry, his love. It was in his eyes, his words, his actions, clear as day.

They still bickered and argued – she knew that part of them was never going away – but the difference now was that his words carried so much more weight and emotions she couldn’t ignore. He didn’t bother to hide his feelings behind snide remarks or careless jabs any longer, and his raw honesty left her speechless every time.

She didn’t know how to react to him, because she’s never had anyone care for her this way. So her first instinct had been to push him away, and she did. The first time he’d all but confessed, she blatantly told him to stay where he was, keep doing what he was doing, get married to a nice woman and have kids.

Maintain that dignity.

Her words obviously fell on deaf ears, because he was back in her office the next night with whisky and an offer to use him. She couldn’t refuse, if only to forget the encounter with her father which left her more affected than it should’ve. And besides, she couldn’t deny the sexual attraction between them.

While she maintained that that night never existed between them, and he’d very graciously left it as such, nothing was the same for her. She wasn’t unaffected by him before, and now, she found it harder to draw the line. It wasn’t easy, not when he was always around, chipping at her walls.

At some point, she realised she actually had to fight off unknown feelings within her just to keep him at arm’s length.

She remembered the first fight they had. He’d crossed so many lines that night, regarding her as Jung Eun Yeong and assuming her actions were because she couldn’t escape from her past. In return, she’d called him sheltered and told him he’d never be able to understand her, just to drive a divide between them.

His hurt was immediate, flashing across his eyes in an instant before he hid himself away. When she saw that, a small part of her almost, almost, wanted to take it back. But she knew better, so she chose to walk away.

But it bugged her, his pained expression playing in her mind, because she knew he was genuinely concerned, and she didn’t know why but she hated seeing him hurt. He’d called to apologise, asking her to do the same, but she pushed him away yet again and their conversation ended in another argument. She couldn’t sleep that night.

Her resolve was crumbling, and if not for those calls, she would’ve given in that night he turned up at her home asking for comfort, after the backlash around the inheritance tax law. But she didn’t have time to deal with her feelings. They were both swept up in the Issume case. She with the truth of the murder, and him with the CEO takeover.

It wasn’t until Kevin presented her with evidence to take down his father that she was finally forced to own up to them. The Jung Geum Ja she knew would never have gotten involved in someone else’s fight if there was nothing to gain. But it was him, and she realised she worried about him more than she’d care to admit.

She found herself acting in a way she never did with any man. Like when she checked up on him so often it went beyond what was usual for a friendship, or when it dawned on her that the emptiness she felt in the days he was away taking care of his father, was her missing him.

That wasn’t all.

Her whole life, she’d never depended on anyone, because doing so meant putting herself in a vulnerable position. And she knew more than anyone else, how much of a let-down humans could be.

But he’d barged in after hearing her scream that night, panic written all over his face. He’d been outside the entire night, just to make sure she’d be okay. Suddenly her pride seemed so small compared to him, and from that moment, she let him in.

He stayed over most nights, hugging her close and running a hand over her back when her nightmares came. She’d trouble using a knife too, which he noticed. But instead of commenting, he’d pick up whatever she dropped, cupping his hand over hers with a small smile.

And with every reassuring touch, she’d come to need him in a way she never needed anyone else. She realised that she didn’t mind – no, she wanted him to see her this way. She was done pretending to be tough in front of him. This man had seen everything about her, yet he chose to stay.

While she wasn’t quite ready to call it love, she liked being around him, and having him around. So when he’d returned the watch to her, and very simply asked her to stop running from him, she caved.

It wasn’t the first time he’d confessed, but this time, she knew he wanted to take the ambiguity out of their relationship. She saw the look in his eyes, and knew he wouldn’t be satisfied with any of her half-baked answers. She would’ve lost to him anyway, and she didn’t fight losing battles.

But she wasn’t ready for what he’d said next, where he asked her to consider him before she threw herself in harm’s way. Neither was she ready for the fragility in his voice when he said he’d rather die than lose her. It rang in her ears, and she felt her heart squeeze, as he left her speechless yet again.

She felt her insecurities, her broken past, her trust issues, rushing back in that moment. Though she knew what he was asking of her – a commitment to him, to them – she didn’t know if she could give him that. But what won out amid her raging thoughts was the fact that she didn’t like seeing him hurt, and she’d hate it even more if she was the cause of it.

She felt the gentle squeeze of his hand around hers, and while she wasn’t sure if she was capable of loving him, she owed it to him to try. She looked at him again, certain this time, and she knew he understood.

His lips were on hers in the next moments, and the simmering desire within her flared. She suddenly felt like there was too much distance between them which needed to be closed. Her hands found a life of their own, finding their way into his hair, pulling him close, tugging at his clothes, exploring every inch of his body.

Her hands were rough, while his were gentler. The memory of his fingers caressing her scars, the way he loved her that night, and the nights after, was enough to set her off. She thought the sexual tension between them would diminish since their relationship was no longer ambiguous. She was mistaken.

It only intensified now that she knew how his skin felt on hers, how his fingers stroked every curve of her body. It didn’t help that they were always around each other, or that the team was always around them, working late. It made it that much harder for them to engage in any kind of sexual activity.

So when Ji Eun had walked in on them one Saturday morning while arranging for the heater to be fixed, he’d asked her to move in with him, and she readily agreed. Out of practicality more than anything else, but also because he’d a nice coffee machine.

That had been a week ago, and they were now into their second month together. But there was something still bothering her. It wasn’t how he felt about her. He loved her, that much was clear, but that didn’t mean she understood why.

It’s not like she thought she wasn’t attractive or good enough for him, but it was the plain fact that she’d played him, rather savagely, and trampled on his heart. Unless he was a masochist, she really didn’t see why he was still with her.

Besides, they were worlds apart. He was born into a family of judges, and his future was set for him, one without her. But for some reason she couldn’t figure out, this man chose to love her. More than anyone else ever did, and probably more than anyone else ever will.

“Alright. What is it?”

Hee Jae’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“You’re fidgeting a lot, and it bugs me. It breaks my concentration. So tell me, what’s bothering you?”

She took a moment to refocus. He’d turned fully towards her, one elbow resting on the back of his chair. She regarded him with an air of bewilderment, hesitant.

“Why?”

He arched an eyebrow.

“Why what?”

“Why…me?”

He did a double take, a small smile gracing his lips.

“Is someone feeling insecure?”

His eyes danced with amusement. She rolled hers.

“No, I was wondering what changed. You did say, more than once, that you never wanted to see me again, and that we were two very different people. So, how did it go from that, to this?”

Her hands gestured back and forth between them.

He contemplated her for a moment before removing his glasses. He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose, finally letting the exhaustion from the past few hours wash over him.

“I had never lost a case. Until you came along.”

He looked over at her and she raised her eyebrows, urging him to continue.

“It was about one-upping you initially, after what you put me through,” he gave her the side-eye, which she ignored.

“Go on.”

He smirked, but kept going.

“I hated your guts, your methods. Even now, I still don’t agree with them sometimes, but after the D&T case, I had to admit they worked. I liked your smarts.”

“What about Lawyer Boo? She’s smart, pretty, and she has a thing for you.”

“She’s not you.”

He gave her a pointed look before continuing.

“You had every reason to be defeated. But you worked harder, lived harder than anyone I’d met. It was refreshing. I thought I knew everything there was to know about being a lawyer – I was the best at Song & Kim – but you came and challenged that. I met my match in you. You never allowed me to be comfortable where I was. You knew what I was capable of, sometimes more than what I know of myself, and you refused to let me fall short.”

He glanced over at her, the side of his lips quirking up when he noticed the faint surprise in her eyes.

“Does that answer your question?”

“I guess, yes.”

How Hee Jae always managed to confound her, she’d never know.

“What, that’s all you have to say?”

He looked at her in disbelief.

She smiled and shook her head. She gripped the front of his jumper and pulled him in for a kiss.

“This is my answer.”

Before she could pull away completely, he’d lifted her onto his lap, so that she was straddling him.

“It’s incomplete,” he countered with a tease in his eyes.

As he drew her in for a kiss, and another, she had a feeling she’d never tire of his kisses, or the way his arms wrapped around her.

Not now, not ever.

FIN

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If you haven’t read the first one, you can check it out here, along with the rest of the FFs on this site. Click HERE.

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COMMENTS off Tumblr

nothingremainsunsaid posted this

happym8 Thank you for the update 🎊🥰

nothingremainsunsaid Your welcome, @happym8! 😄 i got another submission so i'm putting it up (there are photos!) so it'll be awhile. Haha so happy to get content for these two. Also, hopefully @baby-hyenaupdates her story soon. 😊 haha.

b-is-for Yay! New Hyena Fanfic! Thank you! I love that they moved in together after being walked in on by Ji Eun. And it's so Geum Ja to rationalize that decision as something borne out of practicality and Hee Jae's nice coffee machine. I found this bit particularly cute. b-is-for Also loved the throwback to the episode 11 angst/conflict and how Geum Ja was so bothered by it. I have always had a soft spot for that drunk ex-boyfriend phone call, because I thought it was very telling of Geum Ja's feelings for Hee Jae despite herself. It makes sense that she would lose sleep over it. b-is-for And Hee Jae helping her through her trauma made me tear up a bit (or a lot.). 😭😭😭 And his response to her 'Why?' WOW. *Slow clap. Heart eyes.* Great work Anonymous Writer/ Friendly Lurker! Am very much looking forward to reading more Hyena Fanfic from you!

baby-hyena Awww, the fluff we needed in the drama. Thank you for writing this!! And yes, please keep on writing, we'd love to read everything and anything about these two. 🥰💕

nothingremainsunsaid Aww, all excellent points, @b-is-for!! yes, that bit about moving in coz of the nice coffee machine. haha. so cute. and helping her w/ her nightmares. i always liked hearing about that drunk phonecall. I love how the writer imagines the OTP. Also, moar please. Moooar. hahaha. 😆😆😆

nothingremainsunsaid @baby-hyena: yes, we need more #Hyena fluff. Thanks, writer, for giving us content we live for. 😊😊😊

#hyenakdrama #kimhyesoo #jujihoon #hyenanetflix #sbshyena #hyenafanfic #hyena